Reformed ex-convict 'trying to change young lives'

Allen Langham said he thought the "only way out" was suicide while he was serving his seventh custodial sentence in 2013, having spent most of his adult life within the prison system.

The 47-year-old from Doncaster, a former Sheffield Eagles rugby league player, said he "detested" who he had become but, after converting to Christianity, he decided to turn his life around.

Now a chaplain and author living in the Yorkshire Dales, he also works with the Ministry of Justice on its prison drugs strategy and delivers presentations in schools and prisons to share his story.

"My heart's desire now is to see young people become the best versions of themselves - not to throw their lives away," he said.

Mr Langham said he was raised by his mother, Marlene, but she died in 1992 when he was 14.

"The loss of our beloved mum, it took something from us all as a family," he said. "All my safety and security were gone in a blip.

"I think that's where my anger and resentment built up - this ball of anger came into my life that day."

Having lived with his mother in a council house, after her death he was forced to leave and live with his two older sisters.

However, he said he became distant from his family because he "couldn't handle the pain and suffering" they had endured.

He also said he was abused by a family friend while growing up.

In 1995, at the age of 17, he was signed to the Sheffield Eagles and he moved to the city.

However, he lost his contract with the club after a fight in a nightclub at the age of 18 which led to him being sentenced to eight months in prison.

It was while he was in prison that he was introduced to heroin and crack cocaine, and he became an addict.

He spent most of the next two decades in and out of prison for drug-related and violent crimes, his longest sentence being four years for a street robbery, which saw him transferred to the high security Belmarsh Prison.

Although he continued to play rugby after leaving the Eagles, he later quit the sport.

"I was always searching for family and security - my new family became my prison family," he said.

By the age of 35, on remand for a kidnap and hostage situation, he said he felt "deep-rooted regret" about how his life had turned out.

"It's a very weird place mentally, planning your normal mundane tasks but also how you are going to take your own life," he said.

It was in the prison chapel where he hit "absolute rock bottom", he said.

Despite not being religious, he said he "broke down" in the chapel.

"I dropped to my knees crying and said, 'God, if you are real and with me, put a dove outside my window in place of the pigeons'."

The next morning - he said - "the pigeons lifted up and the dove sat down" and he converted to Christianity the same day.

He did not return to prison again.

By talking about his experiences, the father-of-three said he hoped to change the lives of other young people facing similar situations.

"If I had not experienced what I experienced, I couldn't reach the young people I work with today," he said. "I see so much of myself in them.

"I've worked with some of the most high-risk offenders and they are just broken kids, just broken little boys and little girls who just need love, attention and caring."

He said fathers needed to be good role models for their children.

"Dads need to stand up and be dads," he said. "The absent father is a real negative influence.

"Even if they are not your children, just be a role model."

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