'Remembering my mother's pandemic funeral'

BBC journalist Liz Saul had to arrange her mother's funeral in the midst of the Covid pandemic. This is her story.

My Mum, Janet Girsman, who lived in Esher, died in June 2020 at the age of 73.

Over the years we talked about funeral arrangements, as she always had very specific wishes, The challenge was carrying out those wishes during the coronavirus pandemic.

Due to the Covid restrictions the entire service had to be held outside by the graveside, and only 15 people were allowed at the service, including me.

Like me, Mum was a journalist, starting as a magazine writer and eventually running her own PR agency. She travelled everywhere from Reykjavik to New York.

Outside work, she loved tracing our family tree. She neither acted or looked her age.

My family is Jewish, but while we have our faith, we have never been particularly religious.

Similar to a funeral in "normal" times, I was able to choose some psalms to be recited, and the Rabbi officiating agreed to sing one of the pieces.

Social distancing was still in place which made the service really surreal.

While it was lovely to see my family, it was odd not being able to touch or hug them at such a sad and intense time.

When I was delivering the eulogy, people were getting really emotional and it was so hard not to instinctively reach out and hug them - or them me.

One crucial addition was that the service was being streamed or broadcast to those who couldn't be there in person.

Mum had many cousins and this meant they were able to see the funeral and participate online, from as far away as Australia.

There were also family watching in America and Denmark, as well as the UK.

That was one positive.

The fact that the funeral was broadcast internationally seemed fitting for a journalist who had travelled the world.

It meant that Mum's family could all pay their respects in a way we wouldn't have considered beforehand, and many who wouldn't have been able to attend usually, could be at the funeral virtually.

The wake afterwards was a further organisational headache.

Here the Covid restrictions were a little more complex.

I could have a total of six people inside, but outside was less restricted, provided everyone kept to social distancing.

Thank goodness Mum had a back garden. I know that not everyone had that luxury.

It was heartening to see quite a few friends and family.

Five years on, looking back on Mum's death and the funeral, it still feels so strange - and tinged with the sadness of what could have been.

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