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Bereaved daughter prepares for Covid memorial day

Joanne Writtle
Health correspondent, BBC Midlands
BBC Jane Roche pictured with brown hair with blonde highlights in it. She is smiling slightly and wearing a blue roll-neck jumper.BBC
Ms Roche was involved in setting up a Covid memorial in Castle Vale, Birmingham

A woman who lost her father and sister during the first Covid lockdown said, despite it being five years since their deaths, her grief remains with her.

"He was an amazing dad and even though he had dementia his personality still shone through, and Jocelyn was such a stunningly beautiful woman, inside and out," Jane Roche said.

Since their deaths, Ms Roche has been involved in getting a Covid memorial for local people near her home in Castle Vale, Birmingham.

She said that work and her efforts with the West Midlands Covid-19 Bereaved Families for Justice, which campaigns to learn lessons from the pandemic, gave her some comfort.

She recalled making visits to her dad, Vincent Pettitt, under strict social distancing rules while he was in a care home.

"Even if he didn't know what Covid was, he would have wondered where I was, because I was by his side for years, looking after him, advocating for him, and being his voice," she said.

When he was taken to hospital in 2020, she met the ambulance outside.

"I held him in my arms, and I said 'dad, you've got to be the bravest soldier you've ever been'," Ms Roche said.

"I can't come into the hospital with you because there's a terrible disease but I'll see you soon.' "

A memorial to Jane Roche's dad and sister. There are two picture frames showing a man with dark hair and a thick dark moustache and another photo frame showing a woman with short blonde hair wearing a black T-shirt.
Ms Roche's sister, Jocelyn, died five days after their dad's death during the pandemic

Her sister fell seriously ill on the same day their dad passed, dying alone in hospital five days later.

"She would have felt on her own, petrified, and it's just absolutely awful," Ms Roche said.

"No-one should die like that, and that will stay in my mind forever."

The memorial garden which she was involved with opened in Castle Vale in 2022 and features a bed of stones where loved ones can leave inscribed pebbles.

Ms Roche, along with other bereaved families in the West Midlands who lost loved ones during the pandemic, will gather at the National Memorial Arboretum in Alrewas, Staffordshire, on Sunday for a day of reflection.

"I've made some brilliant friends, we have our own meetings, and we're having one at the war memorial on the 23 March," she said.

Alan Handley Alan Handley pictured looking at a stone wall with pink and red drawn hearts. He is bald and wearing dark tinted glasses and a dark blue coat.Alan Handley
Mr Handley lost his wife Susan Handley in November 2020

Alan Handley from Tamworth lost his wife, Susan Handley, in November 2020 aged 69.

He is also part of the West Midlands Covid-19 Bereaved Families for Justice group, and said Sundays event will help give those grieving some needed comfort.

He added: "It is important because it's become an extended family, a support group for everybody, for those that are still struggling, particularly children and young adults.

"Sunday is an opportunity for us all to come together to honour and pay our respects to our loved ones and bring people up-to-date.

"Hopefully we can all go away uplifted."

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