'Our 75-year marriage is all about give and take'

BBC Alan and Trudy are sitting next to each other on a cream sofa, they are smiling at the camera and are both wearing red jumpers over white collared shirts. BBC
Teenage sweethearts Alan and Trudy Tomlinson have been married for 75 years

"You can't have your own way all of the time," says 96-year-old Trudy Tomlinson. "Wouldn't you agree?"

"I wouldn't dare not," laughs her 97-year-old husband Alan.

Mr and Mrs Tomlinson have been married for 75 years.

According to them, the secret to a long marriage is all about "give and take".

The couple live together in a companion suite in Middleton Lodge Care Home in Derby, and are one of four couples in such suites celebrating more than 250 years of marriage between them.

Middleton Lodge Trudy and Alan stand together. Alan has his arm around Trudy, she wears a navy cardigan over a cream blouse and he wears a grey jumper over a blue checked shirt.Middleton Lodge
Trudy and Alan moved into the care home together in August

Trudy and Alan Tomlinson met when they were teenagers in the mid 1940s.

Trudy was in the Women's Junior Air Corps and met Alan at a local youth games evening at a cinema in Sheffield.

She said: "He went in the Army for three years then, and a few months later I volunteered for the Army and I went away. He went abroad. I was a switchboard operator."

The pair reunited three years later by chance, on a bus.

"My mother and step-father went upstairs, because my step-father wanted to smoke, and who got on further down the line but this one?

"He looked across at me, and I looked at him.

"We've always been together - we wouldn't think of life without each other."

Middleton Lodge Peter and Eileen sit outside with straw sun hats on.Middleton Lodge
Eileen and Peter Wade moved into the home in April this year

Another couple who live in the care home are Peter and Eileen Wade.

"It was a sensible thing to do, being together is the best thing," said Peter.

"We couldn't cope on our own to be honest, we need the care."

The pair moved into the home in April this year, when the former Rolls-Royce engineer's health declined and he couldn't live at home any more.

Having met at a dance while attending the University of Manchester, they got married in West Bridgford, Nottinghamshire, and left for their honeymoon in Edinburgh on the same day.

They are celebrating 66 years of marriage this year, and think the secret to a happy union is tolerance.

Peter said: "Accept that people have little foibles, it's part of marriage. You can't just walk away."

Eileen added: "Allowing space for the things that you don't really pursue, but your partner does."

A card with a black and white photograph in showing Eileen and Peter on their wedding day cutting a two tiered cake.
Eileen and Peter, pictured on their wedding day

The care home in Littleover, Derby, has four couples living in "companion suites", which are designed to allow elderly couples to remain together while receiving care.

The suites have a bedroom for two people, and a sitting room.

Joanne Graves, home manager, said: "Between them, these couples have been married for 277 years, it's something to celebrate.

"A number of people come into care homes because they have been widowed and it makes it a very difficult transition.

"The most important thing for our couples is that they are together and to be able to help them do that is a real privilege."

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