Losing touch with grandchildren is 'heart-breaking'

A woman appointed an MBE in the New Year's Honours List for her services to older people said it was "heart-breaking" when people become estranged from their grandchildren.

Jane Jackson, from Westbury-on-Trym, became estranged from her granddaughter in 2007 and set up the Bristol Grandparents' Support Group (BGSG) to help others.

She has since supported around 9,000 grandparents via a helpline, as well as in-person at regular meetings.

"The realisation that this is happening to other people, and you're sitting talking to those people, actually allows you to process this living bereavement," she said.

Miriam Norrish is a grandparent who first contacted BGSG more than 10 years ago.

"My shock and grief at the sudden cutting off from my beloved family left me feeling ashamed, heartbroken and guilty.

"From day one I was enveloped in support, reassurance and understanding by the members of our wonderful group.

"I was able to gradually reconnect with my family and now have two lovely teenagers in my life and my son and daughter-in-law too.

"I will never know what caused our estrangement but I realise now that I don't need to. I have them and we look forward not back," she said.

"There are grandparents who are reunited with their grandchildren and that's the hope that we have to build on," Ms Jackson told BBC Somerset.

"It's unique and it's an enormous privilege to be a grandparent.

"I fell in love all over again. It's just a magical thing and when it goes wrong, it's heart-breaking.

She added: "All I do is facilitate, it's the grandparents who do the magic".

Recent research by the social networking site Gransnet found that as many as one in seven grandparents are estranged from their grandchildren, with some estimates suggesting at least two million children are denied contact.

Family breakdown can happen for a variety of reasons, the most common being separation and divorce, but drug and alcohol dependency, domestic violence or bereavement can also lead to feuds.

"I had no idea it was such a big problem and that it has a ripple effect, not only affecting grandparents, but the whole family unit can break apart," said Ms Jackson.

"The most important thing - and all the grandparents say the same - is that the group helps them to realise they are not alone," added Ms Jackson.

"BGSG means not suffering in silence or alone," agreed Ms Norrish.

"I would go as far as to say it's a lifesaver."

Follow BBC Bristol on Facebook, X and Instagram. Send your story ideas to us on email or via WhatsApp on 0800 313 4630.